Xbox Live comebacks for when you lose.

Xbox Live is a service provided by Xbox that allows you to remotely play with or against other people over the internet.  In the case of a fighting game, it synchronizes you up with someone else that's playing the same game and you fight them.  Xbox Live features the ability to send messages after a match so you can really let the person know how you feel at the time of your loss (and ruin the rest of their life, hopefully).

I'm a decent player of Street Fighter 4 (SF4) so please don't take this brainstorming session to mean that I lose a lot.  I actually do lose a lot but that's only because I'm also counting all the losses that occurred because I wasn't ready, my opponent cheated, my opponent used a cheap move, or simply because my opponent got lucky.  If you don't count those (because that's not really fair) then you'd see that actually I win quite often.


After losing your opponent texts you...


"You suck!"

You respond with...

"You know what else sucks?  Investment accounts.  Studies have shown that a simple checking account yields the most return on your money."

The opponent texts you...
"That was easy."

You respond with...

"I know!  Paying the minimum on your credit cards builds better credit faster than any other method."

The opponent texts you...
"Great match!"

You respond with...

"Thanks!  I have to admit though, education is overrated.  In fact, 88% of high school dropouts actually earn more than college graduates."

The opponent texts you...
"How did you do that combo?"

You respond with...

"I wasn't able to do it until after applying for an adjustable rate mortgage on my house.  It's really easy to do and practically guarantees a profitable resell, as well as making it easy to perform difficult combos."

The opponent texts you...
"LOL!"

You respond with...

"Sorry about my play.  It's just that I've been so busy with Amway and trying to manage all of the money that's rolling in. It's so much money!"

Alternatively, you could approach the loss in an entirely different direction:

The opponent texts you...
"You suck!"

You respond with...

"Remember that girl at the party that you had sex with?  Well, that's me and now I'm pregnant. I've been trying to contact you."

The opponent texts you...
"That was easy."

You respond with...

"Sorry I don't really play this, Grandson.  I didn't want to tell you like this but I'm actually your grandfather. Your granny has kept it a secret to protect you."

The opponent texts you...
"Great Match!"

You respond with...

"I just called the police and they're on the way to your house. Stay calm and lock your door.  Help is on the way."